i thought about going by dobbs' place on the way home but i figured that we'd end up talking and i'd be there a while. i imagined Fletcher was laying by the front door with all four legs crossed so i decided to scoot by and grab him. we could walk over to dobbs' place together and maybe he would bring Satchel out and we could hit the dog park.

Fletch was happy as hell to see me. he'd barely made it across the street before he started to pee.

i counted to 17 before he finished up, probably a good half pound lighter.

i decided to take the long way over to dobbs' place and try and collect my thoughts--see if i could phrase things better for him than i did for my mother.

i didn't know if he'd forgive me. i knew the chances were slim, but i didn't think they were nil. the truth is, i didn't know if i deserved to be forgiven or not.

the longer walk didn't help. i think the only way that i could say it was just to say it. to burst out with it like i had for my mom.

regardless, it didn't matter. he wasn't home. we sat on the steps and waited for about 50 minutes. Fletcher was getting very bored and when he does, his illness acts up and he starts to scratch like you wouldn't believe.

i don't know if there's anything in the world more pathetic than a sick dog. nothing makes me sadder. worst of all is five vets couldn't get to the bottom of what was wrong with him. they knew what it wasn't (pancreas problems, leukemia, diabetes, etc.) but didn't know what it was. basically, it appeared that he was allergic to absolutely everything.

after stopping him from scratching himself three times, i got up and headed back home. this time i took the shortest route. the two bus trips and the close to an hour in the sun had filled me with exhaustion and though it was barely eight o'clock i looked forward to bed.

it started to rain as we hit the final block. Fletch's skin acts up something fierce when it gets wet so i let go of his leash and he bolted towards home. when i got to the steps and climbed up to be under the awning i saw that he had something in his mouth.

it was a pomegranate.

next