with one of the city's major arteries between us, i turn and looked back at the restaurant. dobbs sits in the window, his back to me. he's signaling for Paul, the waiter, but isn't having much luck. one of the things i always found endearing about him was how he was always shy at the weirdest time. he was bold as hell on our first date--except with the bouncers or other people serving him. to them he was polite. too polite.

as a first impression i thought that he was a bit of a goof, but over time my feelings changed and i realized that this aspect of his personality was hiding a shitload of charm. it was my job, or so i thought, to chip away at the exterior and let the charm out.

let's get something straight right off: most guys are jerks. most guys don't know what a woman wants or what he wants from the woman. as a result i think most of them are brash to counteract their loss for words, emotions, feelings, and heart. they put up an exterior that most women want to tear down, that in fact they consider their duty to break through.

dobbs himself put it best once when we were discussing his faults and talents. he was telling me about Sonja and how he'd once written her a 70 page letter. he considered this the most romantic thing he'd ever done for anyone--and trust me, that's saying something. he's a pretty romantic guy.

i told him not to lose that quality of his personality, no matter what happens. no matter the reaction that he gets from women over time. he shouldn't ever let that escape him.

he told me i didn't know what i was talking about. he said women didn't, in fact, like that side of him. i told him some might. starting to get a little angry, he said that he thought he knew more about it than i did, and that women definitely didn't like that quality in a man. in fact, what they want--what they're really looking for--is the illusion of that man. but any time that a guy was actually like that, she'd give him his walking papers and put him to the curb.

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