we crossed the street and headed into Trinity-Bellwoods. we had to be careful of the dog crap everywhere as the people in this neighbourhood were even lazier than those in my own.

we sipped our drinks as we walked along the path and past the tennis courts.

we were both quiet but it was okay. it didn't seem uncomfortable. when we sat down on one of the benches, Geoff took it as the cue that it was okay to talk again.

"Jessie said that he asked Sandy if you were single and she didn't give him a straight answer. do you have a boy?"

"a boy? no. i'm just in love."*

he nodded like he understood.

"it may be hard to believe," he said, "but i know exactly where you're coming from."

"how so?"

"well, i'm not in love. but i was just in a relationship, which i ended because i wasn't in love."

"how long were you going out?"

"a long time."

"did you ever love her?"

"i thought i did. for a while. but i'm not positive about that."

"and that's why you broke it off?"

"kind of." he looked at me and his face looked different from before. he looked more open--younger, even. vulnerable isn't the word for it. i think he probably looked the way i looked. hurting. "ah, you don't want to hear this."

"yes! yes, i do!" i practically spilled my drink i was so enthusiastic.

"you sure?" i was. "alright. but it's gonna sound really stupid."

"no. no."

"you know Elmore Leonard?"

"the crime writer?"

"yeah. well, he used to write westerns as well. and i was reading one of them. one of his westerns. i read when i'm stressed--to get my mind off the nonsense, you know? and in this case, the nonsense was my relationship. i didn't know whether i should break it off or not and i'd always placated myself by thinking 'what's the big deal. she'll do till the real thing comes along, right?' i mean, i think that's a natural thing for someone to think."

"sure."

"so i'm reading this book and i come across this exchange and though the context was quite different from my own, because i was troubled at the time--mixed up--i felt like it applied."

"what was the exchange?"

"one character says to the other, 'what's the price of something like that?' and the other character answers 'the best years of your life.'"

i was quiet as i thought about what he said.

"stupid, right?"

"no." i shook my head.

"but is that about where you're at? your head-space, i mean?"

"sort of."

"sort of...?"

"well, whereas with you it's the reason you left your girl--for me it's the reason i should go back to my boy."

he nodded. i'm not sure if he realized that what he'd said had the opposite effect he'd probably intended. it didn't matter, though. i liked him. not only did he seem deeper than his beauty, but he quoted people i'd heard of.

"Geoff?"

"yeah."

"will you kiss me?"

next

*line is from Diner. Abby reminded me of it. Thanks Abby!