the only problem with hanging around with someone as much as i hung around with Sandy was that eventually you run out of stories.

today, however, it was my turn. i told her about breaking up and she tried to pretend it wasn't the end of the world but her expression betrayed her.

i tried to solicit encouragement.

"what have i got to worry about? i'm attractive and young and smart and my phone will be ringing off the hook, right?"

she nodded.

"i'll have my pick of the hippest guys in the city."

the waiter came up and asked if we wanted more drinks. Sandy ordered a double JD on the rocks and i got another sour apple martini.

Gani was spinning and he put on some Troublemakers. not the song [mp3] to cheer me up but i couldn't help but dig his selection. it was a great track.

"so," said Sandy, "who's next? you know, i bet you dollars to donuts that the second you're seen in public with another guy, D'll be calling to get you back."

"writing."

"writing, right. trust me. i think that's your best bet. find someone hot who'll make him jealous and he'll smarten the fuck up."

"you think?"

"i'm positive."

"i dunno. i mean, i thought that i might take it easy. stay single for a while."

"what?! what about your coochie, baby?"

"oh come on, Sandy. i'm sure i can go a couple months and not die."

"a couple months! are you insane?"

our drinks arrived and Sandy practically chugged hers.

"don't you think that maybe we take sex too seriously?

"no."

"that's it? you don't even have to think about it?

she shook her head.

"tell me, why do we always seem to fall for guys that are bad for us?*"

"what are you talking about? how was dobbs bad for you?"

"i dunno. he's kind of selfish, don't you think?"

"no more than anyone else."

"oh come on. those fucking letters he's always writing? you think he feels all those things or that he is just trying to bed more women by impressing with his words."

she looked at me like i was an idiot.

"okay, fine. but you think he's sincere with ALL of them?"

"what, you're the only one he was honest with? all the others were just practice till he found you, i suppose."

"that's not what i'm saying. just, fuck, i don't think anyone can feel that strongly about people all the time."

"gimme a break, M., you finally find a guy who's upfront while still having an edge and you're poo pooing him? why the fuck did you date him so long, then?"

i fingered the letter in my pocket. looking at Sandy, i shrugged. she wasn't buying it. i picked up my drink and downed it.

"i gotta get going," i said.

"you sure you want to be alone?"

"no. but i think i want to be. i'll call you if i'm wrong."

"okay. i'll turn my cell on."

and with that, i left.

next

* anything starred was asked by a reader during the 'thon. may take me a few entries to flesh out replies. keep the questions, suggestions, feedback, whatever coming.

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